WEBVTT 1 00:00:03.919 --> 00:00:07.759 Welcome back to Compass, Finding Spirituality in the Everyday. My name is 2 00:00:07.759 --> 00:00:11.380 Ryan Dunn. And in this episode of Compass, we're joined by Reverend 3 00:00:11.440 --> 00:00:14.935 Elizabeth Riley. She discusses with us the concept 4 00:00:15.395 --> 00:00:18.994 of rage prayer, which is fully expressing ourselves with 5 00:00:18.994 --> 00:00:22.455 God in authentic, honest ways. Even 6 00:00:22.755 --> 00:00:25.895 if that begins to move into explicit anger and frustration. 7 00:00:26.595 --> 00:00:30.260 Reverend Riley shares her journey in moving through gatekeeping around prayer 8 00:00:30.260 --> 00:00:34.020 and feeling a need for permission to express anger towards 9 00:00:34.020 --> 00:00:37.540 God. She talks about starting a public practice of rage prayer on 10 00:00:37.540 --> 00:00:40.680 TikTok, and she highlights the importance and transformational 11 00:00:40.900 --> 00:00:44.505 power of being completely authentic in prayer. 12 00:00:44.725 --> 00:00:48.405 So this is about more than just anger. Rage prayers can be a means of 13 00:00:48.405 --> 00:00:51.925 processing grief, heartbreak, and acceptance of 14 00:00:51.925 --> 00:00:55.649 difficult life circumstances. There's a whole lot of 15 00:00:55.710 --> 00:00:59.550 interesting, useful ideas in this episode. Reverend Elizabeth is an 16 00:00:59.550 --> 00:01:03.070 Episcopal priest currently serving in the diocese of Olympia, which 17 00:01:03.070 --> 00:01:06.750 covers the western portion of Washington state. You can find her 18 00:01:06.750 --> 00:01:10.295 on TikTok at the rev Riley and her book, 19 00:01:10.355 --> 00:01:14.135 rage prayers, comes out on October 8, 2024. 20 00:01:14.755 --> 00:01:18.055 Let's talk prayer, authenticity, and TikTok 21 00:01:18.595 --> 00:01:20.135 on the Compass podcast. 22 00:01:22.115 --> 00:01:25.780 Reverend Elizabeth, let's start with this. How goes it with your soul 23 00:01:25.780 --> 00:01:29.460 today? My soul is good. 24 00:01:29.460 --> 00:01:33.140 Kids are off at school. A lot to be 25 00:01:33.140 --> 00:01:36.979 joyful about there. Excellent. Well, good. I'm glad 26 00:01:36.979 --> 00:01:38.920 to hear that we're starting this from a happy 27 00:01:42.475 --> 00:01:45.935 in I'm curious, like, how do you define 28 00:01:46.315 --> 00:01:48.895 a rage prayer? That's a great question. 29 00:01:50.155 --> 00:01:53.755 Rage prayer is something that has really evolved. And I 30 00:01:53.755 --> 00:01:57.380 think at sort of the original outset, 31 00:01:57.600 --> 00:02:01.119 I've used rage prayer as a way 32 00:02:01.119 --> 00:02:03.780 to explicitly express anger 33 00:02:04.560 --> 00:02:08.239 within prayer, because we've needed a lot 34 00:02:08.239 --> 00:02:11.445 more explicit permission to do that. 35 00:02:12.865 --> 00:02:16.165 So when we can't find the silver lining, 36 00:02:16.945 --> 00:02:20.245 when we're not ready to find the good news yet, 37 00:02:20.625 --> 00:02:24.325 I've spent a lot of my life learning how to preach the good news, 38 00:02:25.480 --> 00:02:28.060 but there is a space before the good news often. 39 00:02:29.400 --> 00:02:32.700 You know, it's the good Friday of our prayer life 40 00:02:32.840 --> 00:02:35.660 where we can't run to the resurrection yet. 41 00:02:36.600 --> 00:02:40.095 And so in terms of rage prayer, it started out as this place of 42 00:02:40.095 --> 00:02:43.694 really explicit anger or frustration or 43 00:02:43.694 --> 00:02:46.755 sadness. It's evolved for me, 44 00:02:48.175 --> 00:02:51.549 into something that's about authentic prayer, And I 45 00:02:51.549 --> 00:02:55.090 think you can have a joyful rage prayer even, 46 00:02:56.030 --> 00:02:59.569 but it's become a tagline for praying what's true 47 00:03:00.110 --> 00:03:03.870 and what's honest. And so that's evolved into some 48 00:03:03.870 --> 00:03:07.265 really beautiful things and expressions of kind of our full range 49 00:03:07.644 --> 00:03:11.265 of emotions that we aren't always given permission to have, 50 00:03:12.125 --> 00:03:15.105 in traditional prayer life. You mentioned 51 00:03:16.125 --> 00:03:19.440 we are feeling a sense of needing permission 52 00:03:20.060 --> 00:03:23.600 to commit to some of these prayers. In your spiritual journey, 53 00:03:24.140 --> 00:03:27.660 has there been a, a sense of 54 00:03:27.660 --> 00:03:31.385 gatekeeping around prayer? Like prayer is only 55 00:03:31.385 --> 00:03:34.765 using these words or only expressing these kinds of feelings. 56 00:03:36.745 --> 00:03:40.345 I started my Christian journey within a Catholic church 57 00:03:40.345 --> 00:03:43.840 right around when I was in, 1st 58 00:03:43.840 --> 00:03:47.600 grade. And so if you've been a part of a Catholic community, you'll probably 59 00:03:47.600 --> 00:03:51.140 recognize that that's right around when first communion is happening. Right? 60 00:03:52.240 --> 00:03:55.520 And I ended I was baptized into the Catholic church and then went through my 61 00:03:55.520 --> 00:03:59.125 first communion. To receive your first 62 00:03:59.125 --> 00:04:02.504 communion you first do your first confession, 63 00:04:04.004 --> 00:04:07.144 and so this sticks with me as 64 00:04:08.325 --> 00:04:11.864 this very integral part of my faith life that had to do 65 00:04:12.440 --> 00:04:16.279 or of how I was kind of formed in my Christianity where it 66 00:04:16.279 --> 00:04:19.579 felt like we are supposed to have shame and humility 67 00:04:19.720 --> 00:04:23.560 around anything that's potentially bad or sinful. 68 00:04:23.560 --> 00:04:25.960 And then there are things that we could feel good about, and there was a 69 00:04:25.960 --> 00:04:29.435 lot of black and white thinking within that. That. And 70 00:04:30.294 --> 00:04:34.055 in addition to kind of having my prayer in 71 00:04:34.055 --> 00:04:37.735 sacramental life wrapped up around this sort of confessional piece that 72 00:04:37.735 --> 00:04:41.470 also felt just really odd at 7 years old to 73 00:04:41.470 --> 00:04:44.750 figure out, like, what do I need to go confess? Like, what have I done 74 00:04:44.750 --> 00:04:48.510 wrong and yours were soul searching around, like, well, who was I not 75 00:04:48.510 --> 00:04:52.350 honest to my parents? Not nice to my sibling? So 76 00:04:52.350 --> 00:04:56.134 there was sort of I mean, honestly, what felt like emotional manipulation, 77 00:04:57.395 --> 00:05:00.914 within that just a little bit, even though I had some 78 00:05:00.914 --> 00:05:04.514 incredible leaders within that church and people forming me my 79 00:05:04.514 --> 00:05:06.694 faith. Christianity has 80 00:05:08.070 --> 00:05:11.430 throughout its history really wanted us to 81 00:05:11.430 --> 00:05:15.110 be, docile and 82 00:05:15.110 --> 00:05:18.949 humble towards God, and I think especially as a woman 83 00:05:18.949 --> 00:05:22.785 I've experienced this to an extensive degree where 84 00:05:22.785 --> 00:05:26.005 we're meant to be kind and polite 85 00:05:26.305 --> 00:05:30.145 and put a good spin on whatever it is and 86 00:05:30.145 --> 00:05:33.985 the cliches of Christianity, when God closes 87 00:05:33.985 --> 00:05:37.629 a door, God opens a window, or god 88 00:05:37.629 --> 00:05:41.470 needs another angel or just the terrible things that 89 00:05:41.470 --> 00:05:45.069 Christians say or god must have had a reason. You 90 00:05:45.069 --> 00:05:48.590 just those spins that even if I 91 00:05:48.590 --> 00:05:50.690 wasn't explicitly taught them, 92 00:05:52.405 --> 00:05:55.764 I took them in from culture, from 93 00:05:55.764 --> 00:05:59.445 media, from things that my parents had been 94 00:05:59.445 --> 00:06:03.205 taught even as they had their own versions of deconstruction of trying 95 00:06:03.205 --> 00:06:06.485 to not be a part of that type of Christianity or that type of faith 96 00:06:06.485 --> 00:06:09.770 practice. And 97 00:06:09.990 --> 00:06:13.130 what through that, even though 98 00:06:13.830 --> 00:06:17.510 that was not what was explicitly said to me, I learned it and 99 00:06:17.510 --> 00:06:21.190 internalized it. And through my ministry and my 100 00:06:21.190 --> 00:06:24.735 work, I think many people have internalized 101 00:06:24.955 --> 00:06:28.475 a similar message, whether they're within the church or outside of the 102 00:06:28.475 --> 00:06:30.975 church. A message that, 103 00:06:32.555 --> 00:06:36.090 Christians are supposed to be pleasant, and we're not supposed to talk 104 00:06:36.090 --> 00:06:38.830 about uncomfortable things and, 105 00:06:39.770 --> 00:06:43.610 certainly certainly we wouldn't be angry at God. We can 106 00:06:43.610 --> 00:06:47.450 be angry at ourselves, but God 107 00:06:47.450 --> 00:06:51.005 must have had a reason. So we're rarely given 108 00:06:51.005 --> 00:06:54.605 tools that actually help make sense of what does it look like to be 109 00:06:54.605 --> 00:06:58.125 angry at god. So you started a public practice of 110 00:06:58.125 --> 00:07:01.890 rage praying on TikTok. Accidentally. Okay. 111 00:07:01.890 --> 00:07:05.410 Yeah. Tell me about that. Like, what what led to that, like, 112 00:07:05.410 --> 00:07:08.370 public outpouring where it's, like Oh my goodness. Enough is enough. I need to do 113 00:07:08.370 --> 00:07:11.970 this. It was sort of accidental and a little 114 00:07:11.970 --> 00:07:15.565 difficult to explain if you don't know the ins and outs of social 115 00:07:15.565 --> 00:07:19.185 media and trends, but there was a 116 00:07:19.245 --> 00:07:21.905 song that was trending on TikTok, 117 00:07:22.925 --> 00:07:26.365 and it was this very upbeat, you know, it felt like 118 00:07:26.365 --> 00:07:30.190 girly pop 2010 music a little bit, but 119 00:07:30.190 --> 00:07:33.550 the lyrics were talking about, do you ever get a little bit tired of 120 00:07:33.550 --> 00:07:37.150 life? And it was this 121 00:07:37.150 --> 00:07:40.530 weird, contrast between 122 00:07:41.150 --> 00:07:44.775 lyrics that sort of talked about the difficulties of 123 00:07:44.775 --> 00:07:48.055 life and this sort of poppy music, you know, that you felt like you'd be, 124 00:07:48.055 --> 00:07:51.735 like, getting ready with. Mhmm. And I 125 00:07:51.735 --> 00:07:55.175 ended up making a video 126 00:07:55.175 --> 00:07:58.840 basically saying, hey, you don't have to put a positive spin on 127 00:07:58.840 --> 00:08:02.360 things. Like, let's actually just be angry in our prayer. It was a it was 128 00:08:02.360 --> 00:08:05.580 a joke. It was not intended to be 129 00:08:06.440 --> 00:08:09.740 this new prayer practice. And 130 00:08:10.680 --> 00:08:14.120 I posted it, and it's like, oh, that felt like something. Like, this 131 00:08:14.415 --> 00:08:17.775 the idea of I I think I used the phrase in 132 00:08:17.775 --> 00:08:21.235 that in that video, let's rage pray. 133 00:08:21.375 --> 00:08:23.635 Mhmm. And I was, like, I wonder if that could be something. 134 00:08:25.375 --> 00:08:26.355 A week later, 135 00:08:29.580 --> 00:08:33.340 I, my divorce started. And rage 136 00:08:33.340 --> 00:08:36.860 prayer ended up being the practice that really bloomed in the 137 00:08:36.860 --> 00:08:39.919 midst of my personal life just completely 138 00:08:40.299 --> 00:08:43.735 changing while also finding 139 00:08:43.735 --> 00:08:47.415 something that sustained my own faith 140 00:08:47.415 --> 00:08:51.255 and felt like I had something to offer the world. And so or, you 141 00:08:51.255 --> 00:08:54.990 know, the 10 people who cared on TikTok, whatever that version 142 00:08:54.990 --> 00:08:58.670 of the world is, and became an 143 00:08:58.670 --> 00:09:02.190 outlet to to process some of that and talk about some of that. 144 00:09:02.190 --> 00:09:05.790 And I will say my rage prayers have 145 00:09:05.790 --> 00:09:09.565 never been my most viral videos on TikTok. I had 146 00:09:09.565 --> 00:09:13.325 a ministry on TikTok before this, and they're still not the videos where 147 00:09:13.404 --> 00:09:15.665 you know, these are not the things that are making, 148 00:09:17.565 --> 00:09:21.100 me known. But the the depth of 149 00:09:21.100 --> 00:09:24.460 connection for those who do find it powerful and who have watched 150 00:09:24.460 --> 00:09:27.900 it and who do keep coming back because of rage 151 00:09:27.900 --> 00:09:31.660 prayers, there's a depth of, a connection 152 00:09:31.660 --> 00:09:35.165 with the practice yearning for more of that that and that's the real transformation. It's 153 00:09:35.165 --> 00:09:38.675 not, oh, here's a funny 10 second video I'm gonna share, and it's gonna go 154 00:09:38.675 --> 00:09:41.014 viral, but something that feels like it has substance 155 00:09:47.760 --> 00:09:51.520 and life to it. So as you started to cultivate this as 156 00:09:51.520 --> 00:09:55.360 a practice for yourself, did you start to 157 00:09:55.360 --> 00:09:58.980 look for kind of a precedence in that? Like, were you 158 00:09:59.040 --> 00:10:02.585 coming through the hymnal looking for expressions of rage 159 00:10:02.585 --> 00:10:06.425 prayer or or through scripture? Well, I didn't 160 00:10:06.425 --> 00:10:10.105 have to come far. Thank goodness. It 161 00:10:10.105 --> 00:10:13.945 really I think part of why it was so easy for me to go to 162 00:10:13.945 --> 00:10:17.710 this practice is because as soon as I sort of had a 163 00:10:17.710 --> 00:10:21.390 name for it, I also saw it throughout our history, throughout 164 00:10:21.390 --> 00:10:23.890 our scriptures. This is not new. 165 00:10:25.950 --> 00:10:29.630 Showing anger towards God or lamenting at the 166 00:10:29.630 --> 00:10:33.144 world is a deep 167 00:10:33.204 --> 00:10:36.264 intrinsic part of the Abrahamic faiths, 168 00:10:37.045 --> 00:10:40.485 and Christianity. So I've 169 00:10:40.485 --> 00:10:43.925 actually, often used this, within my 170 00:10:43.925 --> 00:10:47.430 funeral sermons homilies that no 171 00:10:47.430 --> 00:10:51.190 matter how long or how well a life is lived, we are 172 00:10:51.190 --> 00:10:54.950 given permission to grieve. And as we celebrate a life, 173 00:10:54.950 --> 00:10:58.725 we it's okay for us to grieve what's not there and 174 00:10:58.725 --> 00:11:01.785 that even Jesus before, 175 00:11:02.805 --> 00:11:05.704 he raised Lazarus for the from the dead, he wept. 176 00:11:07.204 --> 00:11:11.040 As Jesus, was on the cross, he cried out, my 177 00:11:11.040 --> 00:11:13.620 god, my god, why have you forsaken me? 178 00:11:14.960 --> 00:11:18.660 It's throughout our scriptures. In the Old Testament and in the New Testament, 179 00:11:19.200 --> 00:11:22.660 our Psalms are full of lament Psalms. 180 00:11:24.885 --> 00:11:28.725 Let me pull up this one. Psalm 130. Out 181 00:11:28.725 --> 00:11:32.565 of the depths I cry to you, oh, Lord, Lord, hear 182 00:11:32.565 --> 00:11:36.005 my voice. There is deep yearning in our 183 00:11:36.005 --> 00:11:39.650 scripture. The entire book 184 00:11:39.650 --> 00:11:42.630 of Job is a great example. 185 00:11:43.810 --> 00:11:47.570 Right? Scripture is 186 00:11:48.370 --> 00:11:52.050 our scriptures are the stories of humanity's encounters of God in our 187 00:11:52.395 --> 00:11:55.835 all of our human experiences, the great highs and the 188 00:11:55.835 --> 00:11:59.275 lowest lows and how we relate to God through 189 00:11:59.275 --> 00:12:02.815 that. And we see incredible 190 00:12:03.595 --> 00:12:06.335 grief and lament and anger throughout scriptures. 191 00:12:07.940 --> 00:12:11.240 I mean, the grief of Mary at the death of Jesus, 192 00:12:11.540 --> 00:12:15.380 the grief of Moses not reaching the 193 00:12:15.380 --> 00:12:18.680 promised land. These are not all happy endings. Mhmm. 194 00:12:19.459 --> 00:12:22.955 But that doesn't mean that there's not good news. But I think we've 195 00:12:22.955 --> 00:12:26.334 completed it a little bit too much that Christians need to have these 196 00:12:26.714 --> 00:12:30.475 Disney happy ending outlooks, which is really 197 00:12:30.475 --> 00:12:34.235 not that biblical. Our scripture is a lot 198 00:12:34.235 --> 00:12:36.415 more honest. I love 199 00:12:38.339 --> 00:12:42.180 the story, the road to Emmaus. So on the ray road 200 00:12:42.180 --> 00:12:45.480 to Emmaus, we have the resurrection of Jesus has happened. 201 00:12:45.620 --> 00:12:49.460 Right? And yet the world is still what it 202 00:12:49.460 --> 00:12:53.255 is. And these individuals are walking 203 00:12:53.315 --> 00:12:57.155 and really greet like, nothing has changed. What is different 204 00:12:57.155 --> 00:13:00.535 in the world? And it expresses this 205 00:13:01.315 --> 00:13:04.850 really true thing that even 206 00:13:04.850 --> 00:13:08.690 in the whole hope and light of the resurrection, everything is not 207 00:13:08.690 --> 00:13:12.450 fixed. And I think that is something to pay attention to in our 208 00:13:12.450 --> 00:13:15.255 own practice. Mhmm. All of us experience 209 00:13:16.115 --> 00:13:19.894 rage. We all experience frustration sometimes on the daily. 210 00:13:21.074 --> 00:13:24.915 Few of us feel assured enough, I guess, to kind of tarry in that 211 00:13:24.915 --> 00:13:28.514 space where, you know, we're like sitting with rage and here 212 00:13:28.514 --> 00:13:32.110 you've set out to provide a tome 213 00:13:32.170 --> 00:13:35.770 of of rage prayers. Probably, you 214 00:13:35.770 --> 00:13:39.370 know, a 100 or so plus. What did the 215 00:13:39.370 --> 00:13:42.705 process of, like, setting all these 216 00:13:43.025 --> 00:13:46.785 down and, editing them over and over again, what 217 00:13:46.785 --> 00:13:50.545 did that do to you? Or what has it done for you in terms 218 00:13:50.545 --> 00:13:54.385 of, like, your spiritual journey or feeling a sense of connection with 219 00:13:54.385 --> 00:13:55.045 the divine? 220 00:13:58.860 --> 00:14:02.700 It's been a huge gift. Mhmm. I mean, for 221 00:14:02.700 --> 00:14:06.380 myself to engage that practice, but the number of people who have walked 222 00:14:06.380 --> 00:14:10.140 alongside me in this process, who've given feedback, 223 00:14:10.140 --> 00:14:13.985 who've been part of talking through, what 224 00:14:13.985 --> 00:14:17.665 is it like to rage? What are the things we wanna rage with? And I 225 00:14:17.665 --> 00:14:21.445 think the way in which I've gotten to see other people's 226 00:14:21.745 --> 00:14:25.185 spirituality sort of shift through that process has been a real 227 00:14:25.185 --> 00:14:28.550 gift. I've really mapped 228 00:14:29.250 --> 00:14:33.090 or I loosely mapped, rage prayers onto the prayers 229 00:14:33.090 --> 00:14:36.150 of the people. We already have 230 00:14:37.090 --> 00:14:40.930 a a map in our in our liturgy for praying in the Episcopal 231 00:14:40.930 --> 00:14:44.645 church. And so there's a section on, 232 00:14:46.385 --> 00:14:49.445 praying with faith, praying for justice, 233 00:14:49.745 --> 00:14:52.245 raging through more the human condition, 234 00:14:54.225 --> 00:14:58.040 and finding that and I think this is part of what's helped me expand 235 00:14:58.040 --> 00:15:01.880 rage prayer in my own mind to be beyond just the explicit anger 236 00:15:01.880 --> 00:15:05.339 at life or God, but to see rage prayer as being about 237 00:15:05.800 --> 00:15:09.019 authenticity and actually it can be giving 238 00:15:09.995 --> 00:15:12.654 thanks for something ending that needed to end. 239 00:15:14.635 --> 00:15:17.935 I do end the book with a section called petty rage, 240 00:15:18.315 --> 00:15:21.055 which is daylight savings and taxes 241 00:15:21.995 --> 00:15:25.170 and, you know, traffic. 242 00:15:25.390 --> 00:15:28.930 So the The the subscription 243 00:15:29.070 --> 00:15:32.910 was speaking to me. They're raging over forgotten 244 00:15:32.910 --> 00:15:36.530 subscriptions. Yeah. Exactly. Right? The reply all. 245 00:15:38.065 --> 00:15:41.825 God, I know why you sent the floods. Like, we 246 00:15:41.825 --> 00:15:45.345 get the reply all. Part of the process has been teaching 247 00:15:45.345 --> 00:15:49.025 me and what I try to emphasize in the book is we are 248 00:15:49.025 --> 00:15:52.560 never meant to stay in rage. Okay? My 249 00:15:52.560 --> 00:15:56.160 hope is not that we will go and live in anger, but 250 00:15:56.160 --> 00:15:59.860 that in freely expressing it, we can move through it. 251 00:16:00.320 --> 00:16:03.975 And so as odd as it is to say, I think 252 00:16:04.375 --> 00:16:08.134 my experience has led me to actually having a lot more peace 253 00:16:08.134 --> 00:16:11.815 and a lot more joy because we're not repressing and 254 00:16:11.815 --> 00:16:14.475 bottling those things up, but giving them 255 00:16:15.175 --> 00:16:18.235 voice and truth and honoring those experiences. 256 00:16:18.935 --> 00:16:22.710 And that's what leads to transformation in 257 00:16:23.970 --> 00:16:27.670 our world, there's plenty to be angry about there's 258 00:16:27.730 --> 00:16:29.270 plenty of injustice and 259 00:16:31.410 --> 00:16:35.045 We can't ignore it. We can't push it down. We 260 00:16:35.045 --> 00:16:38.565 can't just hope someone else will fix it. 261 00:16:38.565 --> 00:16:41.464 But giving our authentic 262 00:16:41.925 --> 00:16:45.365 response of anger can also allow us to 263 00:16:45.365 --> 00:16:48.665 say we cannot leave the world as it is 264 00:16:49.230 --> 00:16:52.990 and fuel us into changing it. So as we rage for 265 00:16:52.990 --> 00:16:56.750 justice, what are we not going 266 00:16:56.750 --> 00:16:59.970 to tolerate in terms of marginalization 267 00:17:00.510 --> 00:17:04.234 and dehumanization in our world and how can our anger 268 00:17:04.234 --> 00:17:07.835 lead us to changing the world. And when you look at the social justice movements 269 00:17:07.835 --> 00:17:10.734 that have happened throughout history, and I think 270 00:17:11.275 --> 00:17:14.875 movements that are happening now when we see how young 271 00:17:14.875 --> 00:17:17.375 people are being mobilized in voting, 272 00:17:18.710 --> 00:17:22.230 When you see people fighting injustices of genocide throughout the 273 00:17:22.230 --> 00:17:25.530 world, it is expressions of authentic anger, 274 00:17:27.590 --> 00:17:31.430 that push us to want the world to change 275 00:17:31.430 --> 00:17:35.185 for the better. So my prayer too for others 276 00:17:35.245 --> 00:17:39.005 is that this can be transformational. Not that we 277 00:17:39.005 --> 00:17:42.785 stay in rage, but that it leads to deeper joy too. What kind of response 278 00:17:43.565 --> 00:17:47.290 do you get through the feedback system of of TikTok in 279 00:17:47.290 --> 00:17:50.810 expressing these rage prayers? Are people relieved that they 280 00:17:50.810 --> 00:17:54.590 have kind of a a a comrade in 281 00:17:54.810 --> 00:17:58.615 in feeling some of this frustration? Or I mean, Tik Tok is 282 00:17:58.615 --> 00:18:02.375 such a beautiful place of feedback. And if you're not on Tik Tok, 283 00:18:02.375 --> 00:18:06.215 I'm you're probably like, what is she saying? Because if you're not on Tik 284 00:18:06.215 --> 00:18:09.975 Tok, Tik Tok sounds like a really scary world with, you know, 285 00:18:09.975 --> 00:18:13.430 people just trolling you in the comments or, you know, either that or you have 286 00:18:13.430 --> 00:18:16.970 to dance to some ridiculous song. I have found 287 00:18:17.110 --> 00:18:20.250 on TikTok the most incredible community of people 288 00:18:20.790 --> 00:18:24.010 often who are disillusioned with the institution of the church, 289 00:18:24.550 --> 00:18:28.294 but who over and over and over speak to 290 00:18:29.154 --> 00:18:32.674 the healing that rage prayer has given them, the 291 00:18:32.674 --> 00:18:36.514 healing that progressive clergy on TikTok have given them. So I am part of 292 00:18:36.514 --> 00:18:40.034 a much bigger umbrella of clergy throughout 293 00:18:40.034 --> 00:18:42.600 Christian and non Christian faiths. 294 00:18:43.700 --> 00:18:47.139 Our Jewish siblings are on there, and we have Muslim siblings on 295 00:18:47.139 --> 00:18:50.820 there, and folks who are making content and talking about being 296 00:18:50.820 --> 00:18:54.659 a progressive person of faith, in the modern day and age. 297 00:18:54.659 --> 00:18:58.325 And what that's gotten to build with the community of folks who 298 00:18:58.325 --> 00:19:02.005 have left church because it is dominated by 299 00:19:02.005 --> 00:19:05.145 voices that don't match any of their ideologies, 300 00:19:06.005 --> 00:19:09.065 and to give them a space where they can encounter that 301 00:19:10.130 --> 00:19:13.830 I get so much feedback of healing and hope. People who 302 00:19:14.690 --> 00:19:17.490 have said, you know, I don't know if I will ever go back to church, 303 00:19:17.490 --> 00:19:21.169 but thank you for giving me a glimpse of god 304 00:19:21.169 --> 00:19:25.015 or this healed something that was broken in me or or whatever it is, and 305 00:19:25.015 --> 00:19:28.695 I see this on other progressive clergy TikToks as well. So 306 00:19:28.695 --> 00:19:31.675 I have just found an incredible response, 307 00:19:32.455 --> 00:19:36.215 which is in contrast sometimes to the response of 308 00:19:36.215 --> 00:19:38.315 the institution. So, 309 00:19:40.440 --> 00:19:43.980 my rage prayers are not every Christian's cup of tea, 310 00:19:44.200 --> 00:19:47.660 and I saw that very quickly as I started seeing reviews 311 00:19:47.720 --> 00:19:51.480 from maybe more conservative Christians or folks who were 312 00:19:51.480 --> 00:19:55.205 expecting one thing and found me to 313 00:19:55.205 --> 00:19:59.045 be very different, and I'm okay with that. I 314 00:19:59.045 --> 00:20:02.505 know that how I practice my faith I mean, look, 315 00:20:03.205 --> 00:20:06.985 the negativity I get on face on TikTok is usually about, 316 00:20:07.540 --> 00:20:10.840 me being a woman and, you know, speaking for the devil. So 317 00:20:11.380 --> 00:20:15.220 I'm used to not being everyone's cup of tea, and sometimes I'm like, okay. So 318 00:20:15.220 --> 00:20:17.240 as long as I'm upsetting the right people, 319 00:20:19.140 --> 00:20:22.935 we're okay. So I will from the 320 00:20:22.935 --> 00:20:26.615 institution of the church and from the Episcopal Church there are certainly 321 00:20:26.615 --> 00:20:30.215 folks who want us to appear a certain way, who want a sort of 322 00:20:30.215 --> 00:20:33.870 properness from clergy. I 323 00:20:33.950 --> 00:20:37.710 cuss quite a bit in this book, there that's part 324 00:20:37.710 --> 00:20:41.410 of rage prayers, so I know this isn't for everyone 325 00:20:41.710 --> 00:20:45.390 and, I'm okay with that, but for the people who 326 00:20:45.390 --> 00:20:49.174 need it from the swarms of people who have 327 00:20:49.174 --> 00:20:52.955 left the church and who have never dared step foot in our spaces, 328 00:20:53.654 --> 00:20:56.855 they're the ones giving me the best response. And so it gives me a lot 329 00:20:56.855 --> 00:21:00.640 of hope for what the future of not the 330 00:21:00.640 --> 00:21:04.400 church necessarily, but humanity's relationship with 331 00:21:04.400 --> 00:21:08.080 the divine, which should and hopefully is 332 00:21:08.080 --> 00:21:11.680 bigger than any institution of faith, that that 333 00:21:11.680 --> 00:21:15.085 can have a future and a hope and a possibility. 334 00:21:16.505 --> 00:21:20.345 Is there one particular rage prayer that, you've written down 335 00:21:20.345 --> 00:21:22.284 that you go back to again and again? 336 00:21:28.490 --> 00:21:32.330 There is a line in, my 337 00:21:32.330 --> 00:21:36.170 divorce rage prayer, actually, that and I wanna 338 00:21:36.170 --> 00:21:39.630 get it right. So divorce was a big part of how 339 00:21:39.770 --> 00:21:43.575 rage prayer started for me. And so, obviously, writing a rage prayer about 340 00:21:43.575 --> 00:21:47.175 divorce was important. And so I start the rage 341 00:21:47.175 --> 00:21:50.855 prayer for divorce saying, I did 342 00:21:50.855 --> 00:21:54.600 not pray for this until I did. I 343 00:21:54.600 --> 00:21:58.220 prayed every other prayer until I prayed this one 344 00:21:59.799 --> 00:22:03.640 and it goes on. But I think we can apply that to so many 345 00:22:03.640 --> 00:22:06.230 things in our lives Mhmm. Where 346 00:22:07.795 --> 00:22:11.475 coming to the reality of what we are left 347 00:22:11.475 --> 00:22:15.095 with or where we are at and the acceptance of that 348 00:22:15.715 --> 00:22:19.555 or the praying for the outcome we would have least wanted a 349 00:22:19.555 --> 00:22:23.309 year ago. That's something I go back to a lot in 350 00:22:23.309 --> 00:22:27.150 many aspects of my life and, the grief 351 00:22:27.150 --> 00:22:30.830 and the heartbreak of, you know, reaching a point 352 00:22:30.830 --> 00:22:34.669 where you do pray that something ends so that new 353 00:22:34.669 --> 00:22:38.395 life can be given to something else and that both people can 354 00:22:38.395 --> 00:22:41.995 go off and have, you know, the wholeness they deserve. I've seen 355 00:22:41.995 --> 00:22:45.535 that replay in other aspects of my life, in relationships and jobs. 356 00:22:45.675 --> 00:22:48.255 So that's really stuck with me and the permission, 357 00:22:49.789 --> 00:22:53.570 to pray for things even when they might seem 358 00:22:53.789 --> 00:22:57.330 like not what we wanted originally. Well, thank you for sharing that with us. 359 00:22:58.990 --> 00:23:02.669 What do you hope as you've put this book together, a collection of rage 360 00:23:02.669 --> 00:23:06.345 prayers? Like what do you hope that the casual reader takes away from 361 00:23:06.345 --> 00:23:10.105 it? That they can reject every 362 00:23:10.105 --> 00:23:13.945 single one of my prayers and that's fine, but that they 363 00:23:13.945 --> 00:23:17.304 have permission to pray differently than they ever have 364 00:23:17.304 --> 00:23:21.110 before. And to try 365 00:23:21.730 --> 00:23:25.490 on something that maybe felt taboo or, like, the wrong 366 00:23:25.490 --> 00:23:29.270 way to pray. There's no wrong way to pray. It's all conversations with God, 367 00:23:29.490 --> 00:23:33.325 and we get to show up fully to God. So I 368 00:23:33.325 --> 00:23:37.165 hope that the casual reader takes away some permission to try 369 00:23:37.165 --> 00:23:40.765 showing up with god fully as themselves, that god can take 370 00:23:40.765 --> 00:23:43.985 that, that that, if that is too risky, 371 00:23:44.365 --> 00:23:48.049 then we aren't in relationship with God if we can't be our 372 00:23:48.049 --> 00:23:51.730 full selves. So that's what I hope someone takes 373 00:23:51.730 --> 00:23:55.269 away even if how I rage pray is completely 374 00:23:55.330 --> 00:23:59.169 distasteful to them, that they explore what 375 00:23:59.169 --> 00:24:02.914 that could mean for themselves because I do think it brings us closer 376 00:24:03.135 --> 00:24:06.895 to the divine or the holy or whatever that language is 377 00:24:06.895 --> 00:24:10.335 that we have for it, and can 378 00:24:10.335 --> 00:24:14.015 allow a tool that has felt 379 00:24:14.015 --> 00:24:17.540 very much in a box before, that I think can be much more 380 00:24:17.540 --> 00:24:20.760 expansive and for many more people than just, 381 00:24:22.100 --> 00:24:25.860 people who call themselves Christians. I wanna talk a little bit 382 00:24:25.860 --> 00:24:28.360 more about, your TikTok experience 383 00:24:29.220 --> 00:24:32.865 because a local pastor oftentimes 384 00:24:33.405 --> 00:24:37.245 is, seen stereotypically as, 385 00:24:37.245 --> 00:24:41.005 like, the embodiment of their their local congregation. And so 386 00:24:41.005 --> 00:24:44.640 when a pastor then steps into a social 387 00:24:44.640 --> 00:24:48.320 media space where it's, a call to 388 00:24:48.320 --> 00:24:51.840 be or a challenge to be very authentic, and 389 00:24:51.840 --> 00:24:55.200 personal Mhmm. Then there can create a little bit of 390 00:24:55.200 --> 00:24:58.900 dissonance between like that representative of the institution 391 00:24:59.280 --> 00:25:02.795 and the person who is the pastor who is online. 392 00:25:03.335 --> 00:25:06.775 Has your your TikTok presence had any 393 00:25:06.775 --> 00:25:10.475 kind of, effect on your 394 00:25:10.615 --> 00:25:14.295 your local congregation ministry? Yes. Certainly. It 395 00:25:14.295 --> 00:25:18.120 has opened up a lot of conversations and, you know, 396 00:25:18.120 --> 00:25:21.880 not everyone gets it. I stumbled into 397 00:25:21.880 --> 00:25:25.640 TikTok accidentally through the pandemic. And so this was a 398 00:25:25.640 --> 00:25:29.325 piece of, my experience was being 399 00:25:29.325 --> 00:25:33.025 at home, ending up going viral on TikTok, and 400 00:25:33.645 --> 00:25:37.265 having that be an outlet. I, 401 00:25:38.605 --> 00:25:42.284 more recently have started at a new congregation, and I 402 00:25:42.284 --> 00:25:46.120 would say that having been more established in this practice 403 00:25:46.120 --> 00:25:49.580 now, it's much easier to teach a congregation 404 00:25:49.720 --> 00:25:53.480 about what that is and what to expect and, that 405 00:25:53.480 --> 00:25:57.100 I've really embraced this as part of my ministry and part of my passion. 406 00:25:58.424 --> 00:26:02.205 I will say for all of folks, potential hesitation, 407 00:26:03.304 --> 00:26:06.985 we've also seen people walk in the door who've said, hey. I saw your priest 408 00:26:06.985 --> 00:26:09.644 on TikTok, and so I came. 409 00:26:12.290 --> 00:26:16.070 I'm always I say always. I 410 00:26:17.169 --> 00:26:21.010 care about having space to show up on social media as 411 00:26:21.010 --> 00:26:24.770 myself and not as the rector or representative of 412 00:26:24.770 --> 00:26:28.605 the congregation. So my TikTok is not at 413 00:26:28.605 --> 00:26:32.304 congregation's name. It's at the rev riley. Mhmm. 414 00:26:32.764 --> 00:26:36.205 And I don't speak for my congregation. I didn't do many 415 00:26:36.205 --> 00:26:39.860 videos of my congregation because I wanted 416 00:26:39.860 --> 00:26:43.620 that freedom, and I needed that freedom. And I advocate for 417 00:26:43.620 --> 00:26:46.740 that, and I think there are spaces for churches to show up as their church 418 00:26:46.740 --> 00:26:50.100 brand. So I also helped do, 419 00:26:50.340 --> 00:26:54.044 TikTok for the Episcopal Church, and I get to show up under that 420 00:26:54.044 --> 00:26:57.885 brand. There's some videos that just won't work that way, 421 00:26:57.885 --> 00:27:00.784 so there needs to be space for both. 422 00:27:01.325 --> 00:27:05.085 Clergy have, you know, been wrestling with this for a while. I 423 00:27:05.085 --> 00:27:08.670 mean, for 10 years plus, we have been on Facebook and 424 00:27:08.670 --> 00:27:12.430 whatnot, and you'll often see clergy with a little tagline that says all 425 00:27:12.430 --> 00:27:15.810 posts and opinions are my own and not a representation of my congregation. 426 00:27:17.644 --> 00:27:20.225 So I think having that expanded to, 427 00:27:21.884 --> 00:27:25.485 the various ways we show up online, certainly, I can't 428 00:27:25.485 --> 00:27:29.264 completely disassociate from any title I wear in the world, 429 00:27:29.965 --> 00:27:33.264 but giving us some flexibility to show up in a few different ways, 430 00:27:34.500 --> 00:27:38.340 is something we can learn, and I think I'm working with 431 00:27:38.340 --> 00:27:41.640 my congregation to learn how to do that. What's next for you? 432 00:27:43.940 --> 00:27:47.745 Being very excited about this book coming out and just having it, 433 00:27:48.785 --> 00:27:52.465 enter the world. I am 434 00:27:52.465 --> 00:27:56.065 doing more social media consulting and really trying to 435 00:27:56.065 --> 00:27:59.905 help other folks, find their joy in 436 00:27:59.905 --> 00:28:03.720 their digital evangelism. I am passionate about the fact that I 437 00:28:04.100 --> 00:28:07.399 think most of our spiritual institutions have some good news, 438 00:28:08.740 --> 00:28:12.179 or ragey news to share online and that we have 439 00:28:12.179 --> 00:28:14.760 these unique charisms of our congregations 440 00:28:15.784 --> 00:28:17.485 that are worth sharing. 441 00:28:19.625 --> 00:28:23.465 You know, I would get people on TikTok saying, oh, I 442 00:28:23.465 --> 00:28:27.164 wanna come to your church. Like, what's the link online, which is flattering. 443 00:28:27.799 --> 00:28:31.559 And I said, you know, I'm I'm not the magic unicorn I you 444 00:28:31.559 --> 00:28:35.100 think I am. There's actually lots of Episcopal clergy, frankly, 445 00:28:35.320 --> 00:28:37.100 that look even like me. 446 00:28:39.000 --> 00:28:42.695 So I'm passionate about connecting folks to their local 447 00:28:42.695 --> 00:28:45.755 congregations and also helping our local congregations 448 00:28:46.295 --> 00:28:49.595 share their message more widely so that 449 00:28:49.815 --> 00:28:53.350 folks can realize there are these branches of Christianity that are 450 00:28:53.350 --> 00:28:56.970 not like the dominant loud voices in our media. 451 00:28:58.070 --> 00:29:01.750 And so that's a lot of what's next is helping other people share their 452 00:29:01.750 --> 00:29:05.425 stories, set up TikToks. I 453 00:29:05.425 --> 00:29:09.265 was at general convention this summer, taking videos of 454 00:29:09.265 --> 00:29:12.865 bishops, getting them to do blessings, and, helping 455 00:29:12.865 --> 00:29:16.705 share just some authentic, easy good news. And 456 00:29:16.705 --> 00:29:20.470 it was amazing to see the response to that. So hopefully, a lot 457 00:29:20.470 --> 00:29:23.990 more of that sort of work. Well, it's at the rev riley on 458 00:29:23.990 --> 00:29:27.670 TikTok. Any other convenient spot for people to and and on 459 00:29:27.670 --> 00:29:31.510 Instagram? Okay. Cool. Any other convenient spots to come and check out 460 00:29:31.510 --> 00:29:34.924 your work? My websites, the 461 00:29:34.924 --> 00:29:38.445 revreilly.com and rage prayers will 462 00:29:38.445 --> 00:29:42.284 be wherever you buy books. I really hope you all will find your local 463 00:29:42.284 --> 00:29:46.125 bookstore and go support them. They're amazing. They can pre order anything 464 00:29:46.125 --> 00:29:49.129 you need. So I'm excited to see that hit the shelves. 465 00:29:49.750 --> 00:29:53.350 Awesome. That's October 9th. Right? October 8th. 8th. 466 00:29:53.350 --> 00:29:56.570 Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Getting it out there. 467 00:29:57.350 --> 00:30:00.789 Thank you so much. This has been really wonderful to talk to you about rage 468 00:30:00.789 --> 00:30:04.445 prayers and what I'm doing. Hey. Thanks again for 469 00:30:04.445 --> 00:30:07.965 joining us on Compass. A couple other episodes to explore 470 00:30:07.965 --> 00:30:11.565 include episode 137, crafting a clarity of 471 00:30:11.565 --> 00:30:14.945 belief with Bruce Reyes Chow, and episode 141, 472 00:30:15.405 --> 00:30:19.059 community comedy and church renovation. It dives deep 473 00:30:19.059 --> 00:30:22.740 into the idea of rethinking how we go about 474 00:30:22.740 --> 00:30:26.120 church. Compass is a production of United Methodist Communications. 475 00:30:26.740 --> 00:30:29.960 More episodes and show notes are available at umc.org/compass. 476 00:30:32.235 --> 00:30:36.075 New episodes come out every other Wednesday. So we'll talk again in 477 00:30:36.075 --> 00:30:37.615 2 weeks time. Peace.